so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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