are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
