I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
