Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
