I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
