I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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