Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
