ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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