did you get engaged???
I'm really into asian looking animals
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
