Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
