Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you win again, gameday.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
