Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
