So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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