I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
