So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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