if only i could text you this smell
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
