I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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