Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
