hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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