I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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