Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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