you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
