is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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