I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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