my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
