He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
