So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
