if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
