so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
