Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
