Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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