She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
