It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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