She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
