So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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