I CAN MOONWALK!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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