i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
