She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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