The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
