He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
