How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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