Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
