So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
