I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
