And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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