I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
