omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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