Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
