Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
