kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
