**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
