yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
