Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
