Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've blown a few things in my day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
